How To: Work with Family–Accentuate the Positive
by Leeia Ladipoh on September 3rd, 2008
I’m willing to bet that when you left home, working with members of your family was one of the very last things on your mind.
You were probably thankful just to get out and look forward to the special occasions where you could see each other for a limited amount of time, before the tension started to build (and of course, I write this from my own perspective; I know there are those of you who would happily live in a huge house with all your relatives forever. I am jealous).
Whether you couldn’t wait to leave or just wanted to stay, working with your family calls for special boundaries that you would not have to worry about were you to conduct business with people who did not share your genes.
In this article we will look at some ways in which you can make a working relationship with members of your family, whether as partners in business or in a hierarchy, a successful one.
The Greatest Strength of Working with Family Is Also the Greatest Weakness
Namely, that weakness is familiarity. When you start a business with a family member, or hire a family member to do a job within your own business, you generally know what to expect.
You can count on them in certain situations, to work hard, to support you in dealing with others, and so on.
Unfortunately, this familiarity also means that both you and your family member are aware of your general weaknesses. It is probably best to get this out in the open right away, before you make any agreement to work together on a business venture or to have an employer/employee relationship.
Set Some Boundaries
Make it clear, on both ends, that there will be no dialogue which contains the words "you are always like this…". There is no purpose to this kind of conversation except to lay guilt on the other party; and even though it may be true, it does present an unfair burden when it comes to business disagreements.
One of the best ways to deal with family and work is to establish some ground rules from the get-go, with the above example leading the way. Perhaps more importantly, both you and your family members should clearly define the lines of work and of your relationship outside of work; you don’t want that line crossed in either situation or it could wreck your relationship with both.
Remember that both you and your family member are likely to react differently to the same problem depending on your environment. The house can be a real pressure cooker, with facts contributing to scenarios that just don’t come into play at work.
Even if you do know, right down to the syllable, how your wife or your father might react to a situation at home does not necessarily mean they will act that way at work; give them the benefit of the doubt.
In other words, the best way to work with family is to start out with a clean slate, except of course on the positive side. Try not to hold prior experiences against them, unless of course those experiences directly impact on the work situation (theft, deception, back stabbing, and so on).
If you do have those types of problems when it comes to a certain family member, it is best not to get involved in a work relationship with them. Otherwise, be fair and wait to see if what you find annoying or weak in a family environment actually works well in the business.